Bedtime Roulette April 1, 2008

I’ve whined about it before: Our 3-year-old Joseph will do anything (and I do mean anything) to avoid going to bed. However, I haven’t spoke of our nighttime strife in quite a while, so I feel absolved from any guilt about moaning about it further.

I’d first like to note that there are, increasingly, evenings when he goes to bed with nary a foot-stomp, plea-bargain or meltdown. In fact, my husband and I are so very hopeful, so naively optimistic about their increasing frequency that we “expect” little Joseph will go to bed before events of grave importance (for example, a new episode of Lost). 

Like the odds of winning at Roulette (even Albert Einstein is reported to have said, “The only way to beat Roulette is to steal chips off the table when the dealer isn’t looking”, or something like that), our chances of landing on a win is slim. Of course, our roulette table is not slotted with numbers and colors, but ingenious ploys to prolong or avoid altogether the march to dreamland. I’ll give you a partial list. Keep in mind, the following are not isolated tactics; they are all used in combination and succession…over several hours.

I suppose I should also note that our son would sooner walk through hot coals than go to bed by himself. Every night, after bath, books and snuggling, one of us has to lay with him until he goes to sleep or he will bring down the house with wailing and kicking and screaming. So, the following takes place upon “lights out,” as we lay together waiting for his eyes to close.

1. The Classic: Read another story! (We read anywhere from 3-6 books at naps and bedtime. Sometimes the same one 3 times in a row.)
2. The Classic II: “Water, please. Want water.”
3. The Classic II with Torture: Chanting “want water, mommy (or daddy)” over and over and over and over… he will whisper it, cry it, whine it, scream, then whisper again, for more than an hour. During this particular ploy, we take turns shushing and begging him to stop. It’s mind-melting.
4. I need my: Joseph will begin a list of things he “needs”. These items might include his jacket; birthday cake; Bonkers the stuffed frog; his Brookie pillow (a pillow his cousin Brooke sewed for him); Baby Hippo; Barker Jr. (stuffed dog); cheese; broccoli; his blankie; (you get the idea).
5. “Light on!” ”Light on!” he chants, hoping we will go back to book reading. 
6. “Close the door!”
7. “Want music!”
8. “Fan!” (ceiling fan, that is.)
9. Kicking: A little foot comes up and nudges your back or hip. Every so softly. Over and over.
10. Hand holding. I actually love laying with my little son in the dark holding hands. I know that he won’t go to sleep until we are cuddled together and holding hands in spoon position (and I just love the smell of his hair!), but as you can see it can be a long haul to get to that moment. Sometimes he slips right into sleep so naturally and beautifully that my love for him just swells and glows. Other nights, he tosses and turns, changing hands, changing sleep positions, dropping my hand, then searching for it, etc.
11. Flipping the pillow. He will demand that his pillow be flipped. Within a minute, he demands it be flipped back. This may happen a few times, but it always ends up on the original side.
12. Blankets up to his chin. Blankets kicked down to his feet.
13. Taking his jammie top off.
14. Suddenly asking for the potty. 99% of the time, nothing happens once we get to it.
15. “I do it myself! Myself!” This is the kiss of death, because he is usually quite wound up when he begins this campaign. He wants to go to bed by himself (a concept we’ve tried to teach him countless times) but the moment you agree, kiss him goodnight and say, “see you in the morning!” there he appears, right at your heals. He doesn’t stay in bed by himself for as long as it takes to return to your own room.
16. “Tickle my back!”: Again, my husband and I both like to do this for him, but it would be nice if, in exchange, he would fall asleep.
17. Ever so slowly edging off the bed.

Adding insult to injury, at school he goes to sleep like a dream; at home, we are clearly nothing short of chumps. How did we get to this place? That’s easy: by catering to our son. From infancy we let him sleep with us until we were too exhausted to function, then we played along with his little games because we’d just moved into a new house and wanted him to feel comfortable, then we put him in a new school and wanted to reassure him, then because we just had another baby and wanted him to adjust…

During numerous conversations about this dilemma, my husband Joseph and I agree that, in truth, we both greatly enjoy aspects of laying with him, namely the snuggling, kisses goodnight and quiet talk about events of the day. It’s the rest of it that has gotten old. And, that many nights, we don’t even get to see each other, because little Joseph carries on these, um, “hi-jinx” until late into the evening. Sigh. My husband swears that the rest of the world uses the Ferber method and lets the child cry it out. He probably believes this because we’ve tried every other method in parentdom. I just can’t believe that refusing to answer a child’s increasing panic over being left alone is the healthiest approach. What about his ability to trust that we will meet his needs? Of course, exactly how healthy is our current “method”?

Cool Decor Ideas for Kid’s Rooms! March 24, 2008

This previously published story is now available for FREE reprint.
Simply include my byline and drop me a note indicating when and where it will appear.  

Decorating your child’s room presents an unusual dilemma: unlike the kitchen or living room, decorating your child’s room is an opportunity to actively involve your child in the process, helping define his or her favorite colors, interests, and personality.

Sit down with your child—if you can find a place to sit in that bedroom!—and talk about the stuff that makes up his or her life. Your child wants a cool hangout for friends and hobbies, and wants a look that expresses his or her individuality and independence. You want a room that can be kept organized, provides a study area, and is a complement to the rest of the home. The challenge is to create a special place that is a sleeping retreat, study, computer and audio-video room, and an entertaining space for friends. Where to begin?

Color, color, color! You know the old maxim: painting the walls is one of the most cost-effective yet dramatic remodels. The neutral palette in your dining area may be stunning, but in your kid’s room, double-dog-dare yourself. Paint the whole room in one solid hue, try color “blocks” (large squares of hues that “ground” a picture, mirror, or row of shelves) or try mixing paints and papers in contemporary patterns. Paint the walls in colors which best reflect your child’s personality; those are the hues that are most likely to make your child feel comfortable in his or her surroundings.

Pink. Your child is gentle and affectionate. A good communicator, your child lets people know how fond she is of them.
Yellow. Your child has an expansive personality that is bubbly and warm. He or she is cheerful, energetic and spirited in all activities.
Orange. Your child likes to lead games and be active. Talkative and lively, he or she has a generous spirit.
Red. Your child is competitive and socially assertive. Learning stimulates him or her, including dramatic artistic pursuits, such as theater and music. Your child is passionate about life.
Green. Your child is nurturer, caring for pets, and is sensitive to others’ feelings. Your child is relaxed, and enjoys the great outdoors.
Purple. Your child quietly observes others in social situations, which can give him or her a mysterious air. An intuitive soul, your child is comforting and reassuring when someone is troubled.
Blue. Your child is easy-going. He or she is comfortable with both friends and solo activities. His or her room is a place of tranquillity and peace.

San Diego-based Interior Decorator Michelle Strausbaugh assures parents, “If your child chooses a wall color you just can’t agree to, compromise by using the color in an area rug, beanbag chair or pillows. Should they tire of it, a new favorite can easily replace it.” 

Eye-catching lighting
Great lighting adds warmth and character to a room. Pendant lights are ideal for creating soft, diffused lighting without using any floor space. Hung overhead, these lights are away from curious hands and ever-growing limbs. Loose wires can be tamed with cord covers painted to match the wall. With cords and fixtures readily available for a very low cost, virtually anything can be made into a pendant light, simply by drilling a hole in the fixture. Keep glare and fire hazards to a minimum with low wattage (40w or less) bulbs. Hang different size pendants in an attractive grouping, or align 2-4 identical pendants in a row. 

Genius organizational tricks
Clothes, sporting equipment, books and CDs all require storage. Your local home center has a selection of closet organization systems available to manage everything in one spot. Many of these systems are adjustable, so that if your child gives up soccer for baseball, the shelves can be moved around to accommodate a glove and bat instead of a soccer ball. Install inexpensive bracket or floating shelves just below the ceiling to house books and mementos, or stack colorful cubes or bins for modular storage. Simple, inexpensive wood shelves look fabulous when the back is painted a contrasting or deeper hue than the bedroom wall, adding depth. Magnetic boards hold calendars and photos. Strausbaugh suggests parents “keep clutter in check by placing smaller toys in attractive baskets, or cover plain, cardboard containers with funky paper. Label containers so children can participate in clean up–for small children apply pictures of contents.”
Involve your child when deciding what goes where: he or she knows how often an item is used, and those daily items should be easily reached and replaced. Come up with the categories that make sense for your kid: Sports, Hobbies, Toys, Clothing, School stuff. The more your child feels a part of this process, the greater the likelihood he or she will keep up with the organization.  

Kids spend a lot of time with friends in their rooms, so choose additional seating pieces that do double-duty. Ottomans with built-in storage can house games or hobbies while also serving as a footstool or a game or snack table. Another great choice is an oversized armchair or futon that folds out to a twin bed: perfect for a stay-over guest! 

Grouping collections
Be sure to place all like items (all dolls, trophies, figurines, etc.) in one location. More attractive to the eye, this showcases your child’s interests and is a principle of feng shui. At clean-up time, putting things back where they belong is a no-brainer. Strausbaugh arranges favorite photos or sports cards on desktops, positioning clear or colored plexi-glass over the items to create a fun and washable work area.  

Setting up study areas
Your child’s desk is where greatness begins. Facilitate longer, more comfortable study periods by ensuring ample space to spread out books and papers in front of a computer. Pair it with a comfy chair. Choose a high-quality halogen light for the desk; Don’t depend on the ceiling fixture, which casts shadows, is not bright enough, and may cause headaches. Teach your child to put away pens, pencils and study materials before bed, leaving a tidy surface. This practice will help your child to have a more restful sleep, and presents a fresh space to get started for the next study session.  

Extra Special Extras!
Strausbaugh adds whimsy to kids’ rooms. “Kids love a ceiling with personality! Paint it a bright color, string twinkle lights, or hang their favorite posters. Utilize colorful clips to hang your child’s favorite items—photos, hats, stuffed animals, found items—to a cable system or clothing line strung across the room.   

RSV …P? Infectious Virus Comes to the Party February 22, 2008

I stood at th door, chatting with my neighbor as she packed up her drowsy two-year-old after a ruckus third birthday party for little Joseph. “It was so nice to have you over! We haven’t seen you in ages,” I offered. To reply, she dropped this bomb: “yeah, we’ve been busy. Last week the kids were all sick with RSV.” I gulped hard, meekly repeating, “RSV?”

If I were able to pronounce it, I might have shouted, “Respiratory Syncycial Virus!” as though it were an accusation, shaking my fist in protest. 

Sure enough, two days later, my son (who had blown into every last noisemaker available at the party, regardless of owner) developed a barking cough, runny nose and slight fever–fetchingly accessorized with a wad of goop in each eye. Eeew. Then, my little Noah, shirker of every cold and flu, began to bark and cough, rasping for breath and crying every time he swallowed. Then Daddy got it. Either I’ve got a heck of an immune system, or my ability to catch a virus is as sharp as my my ability to catch anything thrown my way, but it always takes several weeks of repeated exposure if I finally catch a virus.

According to Dr. Jim Sears, RSV is a virus that causes a respiratory tract infection. It can cause respiratory tract illness in patients of all ages, but children under the age of one are especially vulnerable. RSV is a very serious concern for infants. In fact, it is the most common cause of bronchiolitis and pneumonia and is the leading cause of viral death in children under the age of five. It has also been shown that RSV is the number one reason for hospitalization of children under the age of one.

At 11 o’clock at night, this is not the news you want to read when your 10-month-old infant is feverish, red-faced and wailing. None of us slept. I kept vigil over my fitful baby, nudging him whenever the word “apnea” broke across my sleepy mind, and my husband tended to little Joseph. The Centers For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) say each year as many as 125,000 children are hospitalized with serious RSV disease and some may die from complications. We were officially freaked out.

The next day, a visit to our ped (Dr. Mitchell Naficy) put us at ease. The boys are sick, but it isn’t life-threatening, and better yet, there is nothing we can do but ride it out, expecting symtoms to disappear over 3-4 days. I say ‘better yet’, because I also read about a shot called Synagis® (palivizumab) which may be administered (and anyone who knows me knows how I hate “new” pharmaceuticals (It’s 10 years old.). Reality check: little Joseph has embraced his “sick days” indoors—vitamin-fortified juices are appearing regularly, we’re cuddling up for Jungle Book and old Charlie Brown reruns, and of course, the three P’s (puzzles, painting and play dough.) Noah, on the other hand, is miserable. Fever after fever, sore throat and lack of appetite. Thank God I’m still nursing, or the child might starve and/or dehydrate.

Dr. Naficy also mentioned how these symtoms are sweeping the nation. In fact, I was on the phone with my dad who was visiting retired friends in Florida this month with exactly the same cough and cold and also ran into my neighbor whose daughter was one of our party guests, and she has developed “the bark.”

The birthday gift that just keeps on giving! 

Allow me to close with a personal note so obvious I shouldn’t have to say it: Don’t bring your sick kid to a birthday party! RSVP no, thank you, we have RSV! 

**For information on natural remedies for kids and families that are proven shorten the duration of the common cold, check out Winter Wellness!

Gluten-free, Schmooten-free November 16, 2007

I’m on the verge of giving up. The only thing stopping me from waving bye-bye to our gluten-free experiment is my husband’s absence–he’s on a business trip until Saturday night, and we are all in this together. So until he returns, I’ll grin and bare it.

His trip cushions him from toddler tantrum fallout; I’m a one-woman tantrum-wrangler, while nursing and entertaining my infant on the side. I haven’t been able to even shower since he left, but I did pick up a nice ylang-ylang candle today, so at least it will smell pretty around here until he gets back…

OK, the lowdown: Little Joseph’s school has, after all, not been as supportive as I’d thought. They like to bake muffins, etc., and little Joseph enjoys the yummy results. And so he should, I imagine. Even as an adult with self-control, self-awareness, and well, concern that I should gain too much “self”, if I were hanging about with a bunch of friends baking muffins, I know perfectly well I’d want to help myself to them, warm right out of the oven, and would be greatly disappointed if I were excluded.

Regardless, I have been faithfully serving only gluten-free foods to Joseph at home and I have to admit, the tantrums come and go as mysteriously as ever, even after several days in a row of being only with us, without the interruption of nursery-school food. To be honest, it’s tricky to figure out what to serve him. We all consider the soy-based angel hair pasta a big hit–high in protein, low in calories, and low-glycemic, it also meets the grown-ups’ nutrition requirements. While my first attempts at making gluten-free bread were quite spectacular, for some reason I have not hit a homerun since. We’ve, unfortunately, had to throw out more bread than I care to admit, because it either did not cook evenly (mush on the inside, cement on the outside), was hard as rocks or completely unpalatable. I’ve considered just getting a bread maker, but, even though I’ve been using packaged mixes, I like the centuries-old tradition of bread making. For whatever reason, I’ve always held a certain respect for breadmakers–it’s truly an art craft, and I feel like buying an electric bread-maker would be like the skilled quilter resigning herself to machine stitches. (Not that I can quilt, either.)

Here is where we stand: I love my son and I would go to the ends of the earth for him. When I picked him up from school the other day, he spontaneously decided to give each classmate a hug before leaving. He was waving and shouting, “bye-bye! adios! sayonara!” walking out of the school and was full of giggles. He ate a good dinner and we played games and watched some Diego. By bathtime, however, he was screaming “mine, mine mine!” in the tub (what he was referring to is anyone’s guess) and throwing bath toys and washcloths all over the bathroom. When I got him out, he spent the next hour screaming, kicking and carrying on like a wild monkey, and then, sigh, finally settled into his bed and snuggled me and gave kisses and hugs for another hour and was once again my sweet angel. What on earth?! Is he secretly a pre-menstrual teen-aged girl? Perhaps I should invite the cast of puppets from Baby Einstein over to stage a toddler version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

By contrast, my little infant Noah just giggles and smiles. Then laughs, then chatters. He goes to sleep when I put him in the crib, and he waits patiently while I stir organic apple sauce into his brown rice cereal with nary a complaint. He keeps me sane. He keeps little Joseph sane–he loves to love up his baby brother with kisses, and even when he’s in the middle of a breakdown will pause to hand Noah a toy.

So, my gameplan is a.) find a new approach/reaction to little J’s unbridled screaming fits, and b.) try making a bigger deal out of his good behavior than I do out of his undesirable behavior.

And, maybe this weekend I’ll make whole grain pancakes.

Gluten-Free and… Loving It? October 15, 2007

I’ll admit it: When we were in Maine, we threw some dietary caution to the lobster-scented coastal wind. We stayed primarily in B&B’s and were lavished each morning with fancy Belgian waffles, baked fruit served in luxuriously rich sauces and warm muffins, fresh-baked cookies and the like–all made with refined white flour. Tasty, yes, but we did miss our usual whole grains, veggie, fruit, nut and lean meat diet. (Cheers to the Co-op in Belfast! They saved us from veggie withdrawal symptoms.)

While our toddler was certainly off his schedule, and sleeping in a variety of different beds throughout the trip would set off a tantrum in even the mildest of two-year-olds, we really noticed a difference with the change in diet. So, we indulged while on vaca, but I decided that when we returned, we would try out a gluten-free diet, and see if the white flour really was at the root of total toddler meltdown.

I contacted Joseph’s nursery school for help. Anneliese’s (where he attends 3 days a week) is the only school in Orange County with an organic menu. They are very conscientious about the kids’ diets, so I was hoping for some input. They did mention that some other parents were trying the same thing–with the idea that the glucose breaks down over the day, and by bedtime, the child is behaving like they have been fed an all-sugar dinner. Hmm, thought I. Bedtime troubles, we’ve got those in spades….

It’s relatively easy to make the switch to a gluten-free diet. Mother’s Market and Henry’s both carry plenty of options. If you are blessed with a Whole Foods in your neighborhood (you lucky so-and-so!) the choices are even wider. I picked up some bread mixes and little Joseph and I made a project of it. He got to break the eggs and hold the measuring spoon while I poured the oil. And, I won’t make you guess whether a toddler enjoys kneading sticky dough! They do.

We did a couple of different types. Chebe offers a pizza crust that we prepared, rolled out, and cut into star shapes. When my little Dora fanatic immediately proclaimed them to be Explorer Stars, I knew we’d have a winner. (Yes, it tastes good, too.) I was so pleased with the whole thing (and feeling so smugly Martha Stewart-esque) that I went ahead and made a whole batch of star-shaped mini-pizzas (cutting the veggie-pepperoni into heart shapes!) to freeze.

OK, fast-forward: What a DIFFERENCE! Within only a couple of days, bedtime became a time of peace and cuddling–and sleep. It’s been two weeks now, and we haven’t had a single meltdown (except once when he missed a nap in order to visit his cousins). And, instead of our regular two-hour nightly Battle Royale to get the child in bed and asleep, he gladly gets into bed and snuggles happily while stories are read, then lights out, and he goes to sleep!! Wow! After the countless books we’ve read to find some magical fix for bedtime bawling–with no success–we have this happy, agreeable bed-timer. What a treat!

Let me add a very special note: While we only narrowly escaped an unfortunate appearance on one of those nanny reality shows, most importantly, I’m happy for little Joseph. He used to get so very upset and frantic at bedtime, screaming, shouting, crying, kicking–I can’t even begin to understand the little storm that was going on inside him, his frustrations. And when he would quiet down, he would cling to us in the dark, refusing to fall asleep, repeating “hug, hug,” hoping we would never let him go. How wonderful for HIM to have his anxieties removed. How wonderful that we can lay there hugging and kissing and reading books and singing songs and all the while he is confident and at ease. There have even been evenings when we were able to leave him in his bed, awake, and let him fall asleep by himself!

OK, now what about the rest of the family? For me, personally, I like to keep an eye on the glycemic index. We’ve all read that diets high in sugar make the waistline heavy. An apple-shaped body is a result of a high-glycemic diet, and, as someone who had a second baby this year, the waistline is a particularly sensitive region for me, weight-loss-wise. In case you aren’t aware, gluten-free means potatoes and corn–two of the worst offenders on the GI! I can tell you that in only two weeks, I have been in such pain (I can’t even digest them!) and weight I JUST lost is creeping back to my midsection. Clearly, gluten-free is not for me. My husband feels the same. He is the type that keeps a caloric balance: when one culprit is cut, other treats can be added. Studies have shown that when we think we are eating light, we allow ourselves more special treats (which is fine in theory). The problem is that most people can portion out a boneless, skinless chicken breast. Exactly what portion of gluten-free peanut-butter shortbread cookie is appropriate?

Anyway, we promised ourselves we would try this for a month. If we experience an entire meltdown-free 30-day period, we owe it to our son–and our sanity–to make a gluten-free diet our child’s new lifestyle.

There’s more! To read about how we progressed in the following month, click here.

A Nod to Noah August 21, 2007

It’s true that Joseph is often mentioned first in my blogs–he is potty-training, he TALKS to us (after so many months of babydom, it is such a treat to hold a conversation with a person who used to require all our energy just to decipher his nonverbal cues), and he is smart, funny, active and curious. There’s always something new with him.

However, Baby Noah, my newborn, is also deserving of zillions of starring-role blog entries. You could not ask for a sweeter, more jovial and contented baby than he, and while my day is often focused on Joseph’s activities and listening to and playing with him, Noah sits quietly by just watching or sleeping or smiling. He laughs and giggles at most everything and he sleeps through the night, and chatters away when engaged. He loves his bath, he rolls over, he is already bouncing in the jumper and often tries to sit up. He grasps onto his toys and listens with bubbly enthusiasm to stories read to him. He is a joy and a treasure and so very, very easy.
And, I’ll be so bold as to come right out and say it: I think he might be a genius. Now before you begin snickering at my indulgence, I’ve been following his development in several baby manuals, so hear me out. At 4 months, he should only now be determining the difference between “ba” and “pa”, and babbling isn’t supposed to replace cooing until about 6 months. However! Noah has been able to imitate the word “hello” since he was 2 months, and he has been babbling since 3 months. He is also almost ready to sit up, although I attribute that more to his cherub-like mass than I do to his intellect. And what’s more, he is already using his ability to roll to get around to things he wants to see at closer view. I tell you, a genius!
OK, one little story about big-brother Joseph, but this one is in reference to our youngest! The other day when I went to pick up Joseph from school, when I walked in with Noah, the new teacher exclaimed, “Of course he has a little brother! Oh, Joseph is so cute!” She went on to describe how Joseph had spent the afternoon with a baby doll and a stroller, and how he cradled the baby in his arms, kissing it and cooing at it. He changed its clothes, he put it in the stroller and walked it about, then cradled it some more. I saw how deeply he loves his brother, but also how closely he has been watching my relationship with Noah. I should have known; whenever the other children gather around Noah, he always waves away chubby little fingers, admonishing, “Don’t touch the baby!” (He has decided on his own that touching Noah is his privilege and no one else’s.)
As Noah enters the beginning of the teething stage, I’ll admit that I’m in no hurry for him to reach his next babyhood milestone. Truly, there is nothing more exquisite than gathering a whole little human being into your arms and spending countless hours just staring into his gorgeous eyes as he gazes back and smiles at you. I’ll cherish every one of his baby-days.
I’m so thankful. Even the toughest day as a mother is better than anything else I could imagine doing. I’m so blessed to be able to be home with my boys.

Rolling Over and Summer School August 6, 2007

Can little boys “blossom”?

We’ve had an exciting last few weeks here in the Lacko household. Noah made a very auspicious first rollover the week he turned 3 months old (Boy genius!) and Joseph has been absolutely thriving at his new school.

He has been attending Anneliese’s Aliso campus on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. It is such a lovely little school, where the teachers address their young students in German, French, Japanese and Spanish (and yes, English!) They serve organic meals, teach the children how to plant and tend the garden, and foster a broad cultural awareness. We’ve been very pleased to have Joseph come home happy, shouting “bonjour!” and counting effortlessly in Spanish. It would seem that he is learning at lightning speed in this new environment, and we couldn’t be happier. The funny thing is that during the summer months, Anneliese’s is on “summer school”–essentially playtime. I look forward to seeing his progress this fall when the actual school curriculum begins. Hurray, Anneliese!

They have had nothing but glowing remarks about our sweet little guy and are very impressed that he is such a good sharer, he pays attention and joins the activities in circle and has come already equipped with his alphabet, shapes, colors and numbers. I’m so proud of him and I’m so glad my little boy and I spend time together working on learning and more importantly, learning to learn.

But, they also commend him for being such an independent sleeper–ha! Not at home! Every naptime and every evening, it’s a new adventure for mommy and daddy. But that’s another story…

My Sweet Peas! July 2, 2007

 When Joseph was a baby, I simply couldn’t get over his sweet, sweet nature. Yes, babies are sweet, of course, but there was something about him that was so incredibly touching and tender–and it’s been amazing to watch his sweetness develop as he grows older. He is so compassionate towards his brother. While he often bestows very passionate kisses and hugs on his little newborn brother, lately, when Noah lets loose with one of his rare cries, Joseph has been saying, “sorry brother,” with a tone infused with “been there, know how you feel.” 

At church, there are about 25 kids in the nursery at any given time, and the caregivers there always rave about what a great sharer he is, and how he plays so well and is such a sweet guy (like I didn’t know!). I love when when I catch him showing love and empathy in his little way; last weekend, we (the cousins, aunts and uncles) all gathered at Jumpin ‘n Jammin’. When we were rounding up all the kids to go home, they sat in a row to get their shoes on. Uncle Sean was a few kids down from Joseph, but for a moment the two caught eye contact. J looked at him ever so tenderly, and put his hand on Sean’s arm and stroked it. Sean looked over at me with his heart full, and I have to admit, mine was too. My little guy is so full of love!

And, so crazy about Dora the Explorer–on a totally different topic! Our neighbor who is just a few months younger is absolutely wild about Dora, so when Pampers offered a free DVD with (multiple) purchase, I went for it. But, when it comes to the consequences of opening boxes, Dora has replaced Pandora, I can tell you that. Joseph has had Dora (who he simply calls “Backpack”) on the brain (and on our TV) ever since. Her wailing, whiny voice is enough to torture even the most patient parent, but our son can’t seem to get enough. Even “Twain” (his beloved Thomas the Train movie) has taken a backseat to Backpack. His father and I have been trying to decipher the sublimal code that grips a child in Dora’s clutches. Is it that she maintains eye contact at all times (camera hog!)? Is it that she addresses the viewer with engaging questions? Is it the lure of a pretty girl speaking a foreign language occasionally enough to keep it mysterious yet still be entirely accessible? It can’t all boil down to her talking backpack. Maybe it’s the final song of the show, “We Did It!” that J loves to sing along to? (Mind you, in his version, the song is “I Did It!”) Perhaps we’ll never know.

 Noah is doing great. He is a sweetpea, too. We are regularly greeted with big toothless grins, although his overall disposition seems to be rather sunny. At church yesterday, he was positioned in his stroller at the end of the aisle where parishioners needed to pass to find a seat. He sat there doing his vigorous little leg-kick and arm-wave baby-moves, and as each person passed and made eye contact, he rewarded every last one with a big smile and dancing eyes. He was breakin’ hearts all over the place, especially (and who would have guessed?) the grandfathers! I had so many older gentlemen stop and coo over him. One even told me that Noah is “even better looking than his mother!” (Okaaaaay, um, thanks?)

Noah is also breaking new ground at night. He is sleeping in longer and longer periods. We’ve been keeping him in his crib, and he doesn’t seem to even have an opinion about it. He just goes to sleep, then wakes when he’s hungry or has kicked the covers off. I need to get one of those sleeping bag thingies for him. I also need to be a lighter sleeper. Poor thing, he has to chuffle and chirp for a while before I’m roused, and even when I do wake, I’m so exhausted that I never quite know exactly where I am or who is making the baby noises–my newborn or my toddler, who regresses to babyhood each and every night. (I swear, I won’t make the same bedtime mistakes I made the first time! I can see now, two years later, the error of my ways, and boy are we paying for it.)

Noah is also quite the little talker. He can imitate many sounds, and spends a lot of time shaping his mouth and thinking in advance about what sound he’d like to have come out. I’ve had him, on several occasion, making a combination of two sounds, to form the word, “hello.” It sounds very similar to those cats who say hello on YouTube, but hey, he’s only 11 weeks old!

Return Ye To Thy Crib, Day 2 June 29, 2007

Day 2 Report: Why didn’t I start this a long time ago?! Oh yeah, because I love sleeping with my son, and I miss him at night. However, I also love my husband’s arms around me when I wake up in the morning, and Lord knows, I’m nothing short of dazed and confused when deprived of several night’s sleep. My baby needs a mommy who is patient, well-rested and ready for whatever the day holds–and so we go forth with the project.
It really hasn’t been that difficult. I thought there would be hour upon hour of screaming, but I’ve found that he accepts his crib fairly easily when he is first cradled, cooed to and kissed. And when he does wriggle and protest, a soothing pat and stroke to the hair, accompanied lullaby singing and some bedtime prayers go a long way to sending him off to dreamland. Last night, I got him down in just a couple of minutes! And I tiptoed away feeling like a champ–A champ with 33% more mattress!

Return Ye To Thy Crib; Quick Report June 29, 2007

Well, yesterday was Day 1 for “Project Return Ye to Thy Crib”. It was a smashing success! We spent a lot of time in the nursey, rocking in the rocking chair, reading books, and singing (dorky, non-rhyming) songs about sleeping in the crib. At nap time, I got the usual screaming and flailing assault, but with plenty of patting, singing, covering and recovering of blanket, sleep won, and the morning nap was enjoyed in the–yay!–the crib!

In the afternoon, Baby J was playing on my lap. Every now and then, he stops what he’s doing, gives me a tender smile, and presses his forehead against me and looks into my eyes, half an inch away. (So sweet!!!) Occasionally, he will simply lay his head against my chest, arms out, as if to hug. It melts my heart, and I usually reward these little tokens of affection by softly rubbing his back, or gently stroking his hair. When this happened yesterday, I wasn’t paying attention to just how long I’d been stroking his back–only to look down and realize he’d fallen asleep! I quickly put aside any notion of waking him to put him in his crib; I just loved feeling his little tummy against mine, breathing in and out, so precious.

At bedtime, I was worried my little guy would be too thrilled with the non-stop party-nightlife of hanging with mommy an daddy to agree to sleep all the way down the hall. I was wrong. It took about a third of the singing, patting and covering to convince him to sleep in his crib. When he woke in the middle of the night, I simply rocked him, cuddled him, and put him back in. No booby, nothing! And he slept til 6:30….yes, 6:30!! I SLEPT LAST NIGHT!