The Doctors are Coming! July 16, 2008

I am very pleased to announce that I’ve just agreed to appear on an upcoming episode of THE DOCTORS, a new show from CBS!

I will be discussing early potty training and demonstrating communication through sign language with my 14-month-old son, Noah. I will also share my experiences of potty-training my three-year-old, Joseph, using the conventional “pull-ups” method. 

You can read about our journey using the  Baby Signs Potty Training Kit in these blog entries: 
1. Potty-Training at 13 Months
2. Potty-Training = Green Baby
3. Early Potty-Training Success
4. June is Potty-Training Awareness Month!
5. Infant Potty-Training–Er, Mommy-Training
6. Potty-Baby: Almost Trained at 14 Months

Want to know more about this new television show? They say it best:

From the creative team behind the long-running hit series “Dr. Phil” comes THE DOCTORS, a new, one-hour syndicated daytime talk show. For the first time on daytime television, viewers will have a source of reliable and fascinating medical and health advice, dispensed daily by a distinguished panel of five “on-call” professionals. THE DOCTORS will premiere nationwide in September 2008 (Check local listings for station and time). 

Story-driven, dynamic and interactive, THE DOCTORS does for health care what DR. PHIL has done for down-to-earth discussions of emotional and psychological issues. The series’ experts will focus on the compelling, real-life experiences of the show’s guests and then weigh in, disseminating valuable information about health, medical care and drugs in a compelling, informal, easy-to-understand and entertaining format. 

The team of doctors are five top practicing professionals, each with a different specialty — ER physician (and former ABC “Bachelor” in Paris) Dr. Travis Stork; psychologist Dr. Tara Fields, Ph.D., M.F.P.; obstetrician and gynecologist Dr. Lisa Masterson; plastic surgeon and reconstructive surgery expert Dr. Andrew Ordon; and pediatrician Dr. James Sears. 

Viewers are also encouraged to “Ask the Doctors” by submitting their questions and experiences to the show’s website about the health care issues that matter the most to them. Answers may be delivered on-air, or become the basis for a larger, produced segment. With its fluid format, THE DOCTORS covers a broad range of subjects, especially news-breaking, topical issues. The show features on-set medical procedures, either directly in front of the studio audience or in its backstage examining room, and off-site “house calls.”  This medical dream team will be the “must-go-to” source for information on the latest medical breakthroughs and cutting-edge practices and procedures, providing a valuable resource for viewers who might not have access to the most updated medical advances.

Five medical practitioners, with five different specialties, five days a week, discuss what people need to know to live their best lives. If it matters to you, it matters to THE DOCTORS.

THE DOCTORS, taped in front of a live audience in Hollywood, is produced by Stage 29 Productions and distributed by CBS Television Distribution. Jay McGraw, Carla Pennington and Dr. Phil McGraw are executive producers.  CBS Television Distribution is a unit of CBS Corp.

If you are willing to teach your little one to become diaper-free (and help the environment by decreasing the impact of disposable diapers on landfills!) please purchase your Baby Signs Potty Training Kit through my Amazon store. The wee kickback I get pays for the environmentally-friendly cleaning supplies I use for cleaning up Noah’s “accidents” along the way. Thank you!
If you have attempted (or succeeded!) at early potty-training, I would love to hear from you!

Potty Baby — Almost Trained at 14 Months July 5, 2008

Sixty percent of the time, my baby uses the potty every time.
(–with a nod to Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy, for all you now questioning my logic.)

Frankly, it’s as true as it can be. Everywhere I go, women smile admirably at me, gasping in wonder at my infant in big-boy undies (He has ones with the Superman “S” emblazoned on his booty), and while Noah does use the potty about 60% of the time, these admiring gaspers already consider him ”potty-trained.” Why? He is not entirely out of dipes, but he is able to go out of the house in honest-to-goodness underwear—and that’s a whole lot more than most mothers training 2- and 3-year-old preschoolers can say. Trust me, I’ve been there. Earlier this year, in fact.

We just completed our 2-week bare-bottom adventure. Noah absolutely loves the freedom; putting him in a diaper for bedtime is now met with much protest. (When he is able to stay dry through the night, I will gladly give our diapers away.) Because I must always be on the lookout for Noah’s signals, and women are always approaching me about my baby’s lack of diaper-age, the topic of early training is always on the tip of my tongue. This formerly quiet writer who generally keeps to herself has become quite the passionate advocate: My mommy’s group has asked me to speak on the topic; I was recently toasted for my efforts at a baby shower; and I can’t count how many times in the last 14 days I’ve commented, ”it’s a HUNDRED times easier to do it with a baby,” combined with, “do you realize the average baby uses 5000 diapers? Consider the impact on the environment!” (My husband Joseph, burdened with the unpleasant task of changing the diaper pail, would also like me to add how relieved he is.) I’m fanatical, and if you’re a SAHM with little one still in diapers and zero time to chat with adults, early training may be all the conversation-starter you’ll need at the checkout.

The Baby Signs Potty Training kit is only 40 bucks–less than the price of a case of diapers. Actually, I think Amazon has it on sale right now… yes! $26.37! Consider how much you spend on diapers and wipes, then calculate that by 5,000 (that’s if your baby uses 5 diapers a day and is trained by 2.75 years.) Let’s see, Amazon has cases of 140 Pampers Cruisers Size 4 for 39.99. You would spend $1,400.00 by the time your baby was trained. Wouldn’t you rather take 2 weeks and $26.37, and open the lines of communication through sign language with your little cherub, put the extra cash in savings, help the environment, and facilitate your child’s confidence and independence by using the toilet? And I won’t even ask what could be cuter than seeing your own child’s bare butt wriggling about every day for 2 weeks?

Here is our Progress Report: The first few days were not unlike the first 3 months of new motherhood–getting out of the house was a logistical feat involving the potty, multiple outfits, a cover for the car seat, diapers in case I chickened out, wipes, and toys to keep him interested during potty breaks. We soon figured out what we needed and what we didn’t. I got into the practice of putting Noah on the potty in the back of my SUV when we arrived and departed from our destination, and he got the message quickly to wait or do the potty sign on the road.

This is a really important point because, as my husband points out, the “potty-training relationship” we’ve built with our son is not the traditional concept of self-control (at this point) so much as taking turns telling each other when potty time has arrived. For instance, Noah knows he will use his potty when he gets up in the morning and grunts his word for it and does the sign until I place him on it. After breakfast, he will point at it from his highchair, or I will simply place him on it, knowing what will come next. Our day goes along as such, with Noah holding for potty visits he knows are imminent from experience, or with me putting him on and entertaining him until he goes. We are so very pleased with his success, and of course as parents we make note of our son’s uncommonly superior intellect.

This experience has created a bond of trust, love and communication I never thought possible. Teaching only a few sign language words has also opened the door to my son’s vocabulary; he is an enthusiastic repeater of words and phrases, and we are just as enthusiastically encouraging him. Can I draw a connection between my son’s toilet habits and his ability to say letters and make their sounds at 14 months? I am willing to say that when you become as engaged to your child as early training requires, your baby will certainly surprise you.

If you are willing to teach your little one to become diaper-free (and help the environment by decreasing the impact of disposable diapers on landfills!) please purchase your Baby Signs Potty Training Kit through my Amazon store. The wee kickback I get pays for the environmentally-friendly cleaning supplies I use for cleaning up Noah’s “accidents” along the way. Thank you!
If you have attempted (or succeeded!) at early potty-training, I would love to hear from you!

Infant Potty Training—Er, Mommy Training June 25, 2008

Today was the toughest day yet in our effort to become a diaper-free household. It has been exactly 20 days since we started, and if you’ve been reading along, you know how thrilled I’ve been with our success with the Baby Signs Potty Training Kit. Noah has taken quite easily to the potty and while I was nervous about embarking on a two-week “bare-bottom” period last Thursday, we said a prayer and leaped. And boy, have we learned, oh how we’ve learned.

It is important that I reiterate that this adventure is coinciding with weaning. I cannot imagine a more powerful and dramatic substitute for the inherent bonding breastfeeding allows. And for all you mommies who weren’t able or chose not to breastfeed for whatever reason, I absolutely must impress upon you that if you’d like a taste of the fairytale bonding of which nursing mothers always sing the praises, by all means try early potty training. It is bonding to the nth degree, my lovelies. And the end result may be comparable in the long run, especially at school; I argue that babies who are extremely well-tended-to are more confident and comfortable with themselves and their immediate world, and therefore more willing and eager to be open to new challenges, socializing and learning experiences.

Perhaps that’s why I’m so exhausted today (the “extremely well-tended-to” part), or it could be the hormonal roller-coaster I’ve been on since I stopped breastfeeding. I’m also wrestling with some recent comments from my neighbor and the pediatrician I mentioned in June is Potty-Training Awareness Month.  My neighbor is a good and trusted friend who has two kids roughly the same ages as Noah and Joseph. She is eager and excited to hear all the details about how to potty train her 9-month-old infant, but she wants to wait to see if “it’s really worth all the trouble.” An environmentalist, she does use cloth diapers, and is happy to do so until her little guy gets old enough to pull down his own pants to use the potty. So I keep asking myself: is it worth it? (and my answer remains the same. Yes! It took 15 months to complete potty-training with my toddler Joseph and never once was it easy. Training Noah, for the most part, is as simple as putting him on the potty when it’s time to go.) The pediatrician, on the other hand, insists on calling early training an “alternative to diapering.” What she means, in general, is that an infant is too young to understand the concept of potty training and so it is actually the caretaker who is trained, watching the baby’s cues and offering the potty at the appropriate time. However, there is a hole in her theory; Noah is holding his number two’s until he can get to the potty! Maybe it’s time for a Potty-Training Report Card:

• The obvious worry about going bare-bottom is cleaning up accidents. What I was amazed to find is that Noah is already aware when his diaper is off and will stay dry for an hour or longer. I make sure to place him on the potty about 2 or 3 times an hour, and he will sit there as long as we are engaged in something fun: a song with hand gestures, reading a book, practicing our American sign language, playing with stacking cups, etc., usually 3-5 minutes is all that’s necessary.
• As I mentioned, Noah is holding his poops until he gets to the potty. This is the heart-breaking part for me—there have been two times (and two is plenty, I can assure you) when I misread his cries for something else (e.g.: he was tired or hungry) when really he was desperate to get to the potty. When I finally figured it out and placed him on it, he did his business successfully, but I felt horrible for not understanding. Looking back, he had been frantically gesturing a crude interpretation of the ASL sign for potty and I didn’t recognize it. The child is working so hard to communicate with me, he is trying to put his two’s in the right place, and I’m this blind dolt. The worst-case scenario is that he becomes afraid of not having his potty needs met and becomes a chronic “holder.” Bad mommy!
• To repeat myself, yes, he is now doing more signs. He really likes “more”, especially as it applies to milk. He also does the “milk” sign, and–ta da!–the “potty” sign! He is saying the word potty, too. Oh, and “choo choo!” like in the kit’s DVD. However, he also has a special cry for having to use the potty, thanks to those two occasions listed above. But I know it now and I promise to do better!
• I must never leave the house without the potty. He is not interested in using a big toilet. If I have the potty with me, he will stay dry through the car/stroller ride; I take him to the bathroom as soon as we arrive at our destination.
• He has not yet stayed dry during naps or overnight, and the resulting laundry is nothing short of depressing. It doesn’t help that he likes to have a bottle just before bed, either. At this point, we are keeping him in a diaper for sleep. I don’t want to confuse him, but I also want him/us to get some sleep!

I have to say again that the closeness between my son and I as a result of this program is awe-inspiring. To be successful, I really must be at his side at all times. I watch his cues, listening to his sounds, interpreting his hand gestures, keeping tabs on what and when he eats and drinks—we are connected at every level. He depends on me in a way he never has; as a newborn, he nursed for all his sustenance and we were inseparable. This is so much more intense bonding because our trust is already established and now he communicates with me, he seeks my help to accomplish a shared goal. We are partners, yet I am his guide. During our many, many potty visits throughout the day (he uses the potty about 4-10x daily), those visits are periods of complete and uninterrupted interaction. He has more quality time with me than I even thought humanly possible.

So, as I began, today was our hardest day yet. For whatever reason, little Noah wet himself (and the floor) all day long. Typically, we might (might!) have one accident a day. What happened? It could have been the pesky hormones, but in the middle of the afternoon, I actually cried because I just wanted to put him in a diaper for the rest of the day and start again tomorrow. He was miserable being wet, I was miserable cleaning it up. He still did all his number two’s in the potty, however. We’d been making such wonderful progress, getting better and better every day, I really hadn’t seen this coming. I wonder if it was just a random blip? Tomorrow, we will start fresh.

If you are willing to teach your little one to become diaper-free (and help the environment by decreasing the impact of disposable diapers on landfills!) please purchase your Baby Signs Potty Training Kit through my Amazon store. The wee kickback I get pays for the environmentally-friendly cleaning supplies I use for cleaning up Noah’s “accidents” along the way. Thank you!
If you have attempted (or succeeded!) at early potty-training, I would love to hear from you!

Curious about how we’re doing? Read about it in the next installment: Potty Baby–Almost Trained at 14 Months

June is Potty-Training Awareness Month! June 17, 2008

The potty party keeps on rolling! My 13-Month-Old Noah is now on Day 10 of his potty-training adventure with  Baby Signs Potty Training Kit. He has happily made a “deposit” in his potty between 1-5 times each day from the first day. (If you would like to read about our auspicious start, please refer to 1. Potty-Training at 13 Months; 2. Potty-Training = Green Baby; and 3. Early Potty-Training Success.) I believe he would do it more frequently if we were more diligent during outings.

Co-creator of the Baby Signs program, Dr. Linda Acredolo, Professor Emeritus, UC Davis, has kindly lent her expertise to our efforts.

Rebecca: Currently, I’m offering the potty at times when I know or can guess when Noah will need it (after meals, etc.) Should I transition to offering it at regular intervals, gently teaching him when he can expect it? My goal is that he will hold it until the time he knows he can relieve himself. He is entering an age where he is learning to anticipate routines; it seems like that would be the appropriate thing to do. 

Linda Acredolo, PhD:You make an excellent point about the increasing salience of routines at this age. What I might suggest is a compromise between the two approaches; That is, by maintaining the most obvious times (upon waking, after meals)—but perhaps gradually lengthening the time span a bit before you take him, and adding visits at other times that make sense in another way (e.g.: for your convenience, such as before leaving the house and before bed.)

Rebecca: I’ve still got him in disposable diapers, and my landfill guilt is mounting. Would it speed the process if I put him in cloth diapers, so he can feel when he is wet and be impelled to use the potty to ease his discomfort? 

Linda Acredolo, PhD:  Yes, that’s an excellent idea. Now that the weather’s warm, you might try even letting him spend some time naked. That’s one reason children train more easily in the summertime.

For Noah, the process of potty-training has produced a disdain for diapers. He will gladly cruise about in his birthday-suit and puts up quite a fuss when I try to diaper him after a potty visit. So far, however, this has meant that mommy has to remain on standby with the environmentally-friendly disinfectant. I’ve begun to wonder if and when Noah will begin to “hold it” between visits. He hasn’t yet performed the American Sign Language gesture for potty, so I don’t get a lot of fore-warning. It’s really amazing; the child can say a handful of words and phrases including “good morning”, “backpack”, and “garden”—but he won’t say or sign ”potty” even once?! I guess I’ll just have to wait.

*We were recently playing at a local learning center for children aged 0-5 years when I questioned the teaching staff about early training. They were startled to hear that little Noah is potty-training (which I chalk up to a limited “Western” view), suggesting it may be a hopeless venture—a point I politely ignored. The proof is in the potty, after all. Interestingly, they also assured me that it is “physiologically impossible” for a child Noah’s age to hold or control his ones and twos.* I brought it up with Linda, and this is what she offered:

Linda Acredolo, PhD: The fact that before the invention of the disposable diaper in the 1960s, children in the United States were routinely potty trained by 18 months is clear evidence that these abilities are available at least by early in the second year. Moreover, even today, parents in over 50 other countries seem to have no trouble figuring out how to potty-train their children by 18 months. American children simply can’t be that biologically immature in comparison to children from other countries. Of course, there’s great variability in when children develop the ability to hold their pee for a reasonable length of time, but, like any physical skill, acquiring a sense of what muscles are involved helps—and that’s what gradually happens as children use the potty. They begin to assume that pee belongs in the potty and the stronger that assumption, the more automatic it becomes to work on holding in the pee until they are in the right place. It’s clear that there’s still a very strong prejudice out there against early training. It will probably take word of mouth between successful parents (via blogs these days!) to gradually shake those old assumptions. You’re certainly doing your part!

*At our next visit to the learning center, the head teacher had discussed the topic with the learning program’s pediatrician. The pediatrician made it clear that we should call this an “alternative to diapering”, not potty-training, because kids under two “can’t” potty train. (Sheesh! Come to my house already!) What I find ironic is that the pediatrician also noted that her friend recently adopted a baby from China who is already potty-trained (or shall we say, chooses a “diaper-alternative lifestyle”), noting that the window for potty-training in China is between 0-6 months. Even more puzzling, the adopting mother has opted to put the infant in diapers rather than continue with using the potty. (Even as I write this, I feel saddened; a) the baby now has to sit in her own pee and poo for the first time in her life, and b) she’ll have to potty-train all over again with someone who isn’t willing to learn how to manage a child’s toilet habits.) Is this progress?

Read the next installment, Early Potty Ttaining—Er, Mommy Training, click here.

If you are willing to teach your little one to become diaper-free (and help the environment by decreasing the impact of disposable diapers on landfills!) please purchase your Baby Signs Potty Training Kit through my Amazon store. The wee kickback I get pays for the environmentally-friendly cleaning supplies I use for cleaning up Noah’s “accidents” along the way. Thank you!
If you have attempted (or succeeded!) at early potty-training, I would love to hear from you!

Early Potty-Training Success! June 10, 2008

We are on Day 6 of using the Baby Signs Potty Training Kit, and my 13-month-old son has used his potty faithfully at least once every single day from the day we received it. Today, in fact, he used it four times! Over the weekend, he even did his twosies on the full-size toilet, supported by my husband. I am not just typing this post, I am gushing it. Honestly, I can’t stop talking about it. (You can read my first impressions in these posts: Potty-Training at 13 Months, Early Potty-Training = Green Baby.)

The reason I’m so thrilled is because we just finished training my older son, and this new experience is roughly, oh, 100x easier. Beginning a few months shy of his second birthday, Joseph was trained in the “generally-accepted” method (pull-ups until the child shows signs of being “ready”, then stickers and rewards). He only used his potty sporadically for nine whole months, and wasn’t out of pull-ups until a few months past his THIRD birthday. Consider the expense and landfill impact of that potty-training experience–let alone the frustration for all parties involved. We consistently smiled and cheered him on, however, and I believe I am a better mommy for this extended lesson in patience. 

There are several reasons why the Baby Signs program is working so well for us:

• While we have always showered Noah with love and attention, our baby is glowing from all the additional interaction and praise
• Learning when to offer the potty was similar to learning when my baby is hungry, or how  he likes to be put to sleep
• I’m weaning him right now, and potty-training seems to be replacing nursing as a bonding activity between us. We are very interconnected: watching each other’s signals and making plenty of eye-contact and cuddling. Potty-training is most assuredly a trust-building activity.
• He isn’t frustrated by unmanageable emotions, like a two-year-old who typically reacts with tantrums 
• He loves to mimic whatever we say and do
• When I say, “where is the pee-pee?” and look into the potty, Noah smiles at me and climbs on the potty, finishes, and then looks back in and then at me, as if to say, “there it is!”
• There is no need for stickers or other rewards. Hugs, cheers and dancing about together are prize enough for him.
• While he hasn’t yet made the recommended sign language gestures, he does try to speak the related words (”potty” (Noah says “paw-ee”), “all done”, etc.)

The consistent success of this adventure has motivated me to try to complete the process as quickly—yet painlessly—as possible. I cannot wait to have my little guy in big-kid undies–he’ll be the toast of the playground! (Sippycup toast, that is.) In order to do this, I have a few questions:

• Currently, I’m offering the potty at times when I know or can guess when he’ll need it (after meals, etc.) Should I transition to offering it at regular intervals, gently teaching him when he can expect it? My goal is that he will hold it until the time he knows he can relieve himself. He is entering an age where he is learning to anticipate routines; it seems like that would be the appropriate thing to do.
• I’ve still got him in disposable diapers, and my landfill guilt is mounting. Would it speed the process if I put him in cloth diapers, so he can feel when he is wet and be impelled to use the potty to ease his discomfort?Want to see answers to these questions and read more about our early-training adventure? Read the next installment at June is Potty-Training Awareness Month!

If you are willing to teach your little one to become diaper-free (and help the environment by decreasing the impact of disposable diapers on landfills!) please purchase your Baby Signs Potty Training Kit through my Amazon store. The wee kickback I get pays for the environmentally-friendly cleaning supplies I use for cleaning up Noah’s “accidents” along the way. Thank you!
If you have attempted (or succeeded!) at early potty-training, I would love to hear from you!

Early Potty Training = Green Baby June 6, 2008

The funny thing about potty-training: either a lot happens very quickly, or nothing happens for days… weeks… or months, sadly.

We are only on Day 3 of our adventure with the Baby Signs Potty Training Kit, (read about our triumphs and struggles of day 1 and 2 here!) and I’ll admit it’s been an eye-opening experience.

Yes, Noah used the potty again today, and while good parents don’t compare their children, our success rate this time around is, ahem, noticeable. I’ll give the credit to Baby Signs for even convincing me to start at 13 months, and also to Big Brother Joseph’s help. Not only has Joseph asserted himself as household spokesmodel for potty-training, he is poised and ready to demonstrate the American sign language taught on the kit’s DVD. While only yesterday he was determined not to share his old potty with Noah, today he insists Noah use it.

As you can see, toilet activities are on everyone’s mind at our house. In my previous blog entry, I nicknamed this program, “antique potty-training” because never in history have mothers trained their children so late. With many countries beginning the first month, and several others completing the process by 18 months, it would seem the biggest obstacle barring cherub’s little tushie from big-kid underwear was the advent of disposable diapers. This, in turn, causes me to ponder whether the whole process might go faster if Baby Noah were wearing old-fashioned cloth diapers: the discomfort of wetting himself would encourage his use of the potty, and the poopy laundry would keep me consistent with my support of him.  

I can confidently say we are greener than most households, yet I’m embarrassed to admit we’ve always used disposables. This potty program has made it glaringly clear to me that the sooner Noah is out of diapers, the less impact we’ll make on landfills. According to John A. Shiffert, executive director of the National Association of Diaper Services, the average baby goes through 5,000 diapers before being potty-trained. The EPA reported nearly 3.4 million tons of diaper waste, or 2.1 percent of U.S. garbage, in landfills in 1998. Diapers in landfills in underdeveloped countries are especially problematic because they often aren’t properly disposed, and excrement leaks into the local water supply. 

However, no one can say definitively whether cloth diapers are better for the environment. A new study released in England by London-based Environmental Agency concluded that disposable diapers have the same environmental impact as reusable diapers when the effect of laundering cloth diapers is taken into account. (Not to mention washing extra outfits, and laundering bedding more frequently.) 

Before I calculate wasted water, environmentally-friendly detergent, and electricity from using cloth diapers, I still have to wonder if it might be the right path. My son uses approximately 5 diapers a day currently. That’s 35 a week, or 1820 yearly. If he finishes training by 2.75 years old, he will have used 5,000 diapers. Gasp!

If I can complete his training by 18 months, as Baby Signs contends is possible, we would only use 700. (That still seems outrageous.) Perhaps it would be worth it? Is our biggest obstacle to getting him out of diapers merely the comfort of a stay-dry lining?

Read more about our adventure: Early Potty-Training Success!
If you are willing to teach your little one to become diaper-free (and help the environment by decreasing the impact of disposable diapers on landfills!) please purchase your Baby Signs Potty Training Kit through my Amazon store. The wee kickback I get pays for the environmentally-friendly cleaning supplies I use for cleaning up Noah’s “accidents” along the way. Thank you!
If you have attempted (or succeeded!) at early potty-training, I would love to hear from you!

Potty-Training at 13 Months June 4, 2008

That title was enough to grab your attention? Yes, it’s true. Having just completed potty-training my 3-year-old son only this Spring, you would think I must be crazy to take up the mop and (environmentally-friendly) disinfectant yet again for my baby Noah. I like to think of it as “Antique Potty-Training,” thanks to the Baby Signs Potty Training Kit, which takes a global, historical, environmental and developmental perspective on early training. The more I learn about the program, the more I feel like I would be doing my son a disservice to wait until he’s older.

The kit, which includes a highly-informative and engaging manual, a DVD to watch with your child, reward stickers, a short storybook about riding the “potty train”, and a train whistle to round out the train theme (unfortunately, the attractive wooden whistle in my kit did not work at all. I may have to hunt one down, because both the kids are quite excited about it.) The concept purports that the one-year mark is the ideal time to begin potty-training. I’ll admit that while we were potty-training big-brother Joseph, baby Noah greatly enjoyed observing the process and wanted very much to be part of potty-world. We smiled wistfully (if only!) and held him aside, allowing Joseph his time to shine. However, according to Baby Signs:

• up until the 1960s, 95% of all children were potty-trained by age 18 months. It was a matter of sanity and practicality, I’m sure, for many moms. Consider that until the 1960s, there were no disposable diapers, and before the 1950s, moms didn’t have washing machines. So, you’ve got 5-15 dirty cloth diapers every single day to hand-wash? And what about, only a few decades before that, homes without running water and proper sewage? Those conditions would certainly make early training a no-brainer.
• Baby Signs lists 50 countries worldwide where babies are trained to do their ones and two’s “when prompted” beginning as early as 2-3 weeks of age, who remain mostly dry night and day by 4-6 months. Their mothers help them to relieve themselves in the appropriate place, taking nonverbal cues from baby—just like we Western mothers very quickly learn which sound or gesture means tired, and which means hungry, etc., we can also attune ourselves to baby’s evacuation habits.
• Today, with children in diapers until 37 months on average, the impact of disposables on landfills is enormous–approximately 2000 diapers per child, per year!
• Significantly, the emotional stress of training is greater as the child gets older. In our experience, potty-training during the “terrible two’s” made the issue an ongoing source of control for my son. His relationship with the potty fell alongside the arrival of his brother, beginning nursery school, and the onset of discovering himself as an individual apart from us. Baby Signs points out that a one-year-old, meanwhile, is happy to do whatever brings a smile, isn’t as mobile and therefore less likely to run off the second he or she sets booty upon potty, and hasn’t discovered the Total Meltdown parents of two’s are so familiar with. It’s also important to note that an infant hasn’t yet learned shame or embarrassment, the two things we would never want to impart to our child, even if by accident. (Sorry for the pun!)

OK, so I’ve already put the manual down and swung into action. Day 1: We began teaching Noah the recommended American sign language to establish communication about the potty. He loves itsy-bitsy spider and such, so he is game. We watched the DVD and I sat him on Joseph’s old potty and he was thrilled. I mean, he thought this was the best thing in the world. When Joseph arrived home from preschool and saw his old potty had returned to the bathroom, he was puzzled. I asked him if he would help me teach Noah to use the toilet and he agreed.

Day 2: Joseph loves the potty DVD and wants to see it again and again. Noah doesn’t care and would rather play with his toys or snuggle. When I was about to give Noah his first diaper change after breakfast, I set him on the potty and he went pee-pee!! He didn’t know what he was doing , but he did it!

The rest of the day, Joseph refused the toilet and did all his business in the potty. I tried to capitalize on it by making sure Noah was watching and making sure Joseph understood that he was “helping.” We went out to get a smaller potty, because Noah is only a baby, and then the trouble started. Joseph did not like that Noah was getting something and he was not. He wouldn’t let Noah near it and was screaming to be able to do his business in it. Maybe I shouldn’t make such a big deal, but I think Noah should be the first to, well, christen it. However, every time I tried to let Noah sit on it, Joseph would start howling to use it, and start pushing and shoving. I finally had to give him a timeout, only to have him come out and do it again. So, Noah was stressed out, and Joseph is having a negative experience with –what? Not training, because he’s already trained. With not having enough attention? I’m not sure what to do about this.

Tomorrow is another day. I think that if Noah can learn the sign language for potty, we will go straight to putting him on the toilet and take the new little potty back. I think he was more interested in using Joseph’s old potty anyway, because of what it represents to him–his adored older brother.

I’m very hopeful about this method and promise to be consistent, cheerful and supportive. For some reason, I also need to remind myself that now is the perfect time; I wonder why that is? I guess because with older children, we can tell them to walk over and sit down, we can negotiate. Training Noah is also going to involve a lot more messes because, at his age, he is much more wobbly and he doesn’t realize yet about what’s going on down below. So basically, I guess my parental urge to wait comes from wanting to put more of the potty-training responsibility in the child’s hands. Well, I can redirect that thought right now. This is a great opportunity for my son and I to work together as a team, just like we did when we began nursing. We paid attention to one another’s signals, we occasionally made mistakes, and even when it was 4am and I was exhausted and it was our hundredth feeding that night, it was worth it and we were connected and love was our goal.

Keep track of our success! Read Early Potty Training = Green Baby.
If you are willing to teach your little one to become diaper-free (and help the environment by decreasing the impact of disposable diapers on landfills!) please purchase your Baby Signs Potty Training Kit through my Amazon store. The wee kickback I get pays for the environmentally-friendly cleaning supplies I use for cleaning up Noah’s “accidents” along the way. Thank you!
If you have attempted (or succeeded!) at early potty-training, I would love to hear from you!

The Holy Grail of Potty-Training April 9, 2008

It wasn’t too long ago when I boasted prematurely about little Joseph’s progress on the potty. You can read evidence of how little I understood of the complexities of potty training here. However, here I am again to sing my son’s praises, albeit with fingers crossed.

When Joseph turned three in February, I was discouraged by the fact that he was still in pull-ups. After all, we’d been discussing every last aspect of the potty for more than a year. That’s a lot of discourse on the fabulous lifestyle of the toilet-using set. He knew all there is to know about potty use and showed that he could do it—if he wanted. We offered stickers and posted progress charts, we sang, clapped and danced when he did the deed, and our son played along…occasionally… Sometimes, he would outright demand a “biper.” Or, he would insist on wearing his cherished themed (Cars, or Thomas the Train) underpants, only to sit in his own waste rather than disturb his playtime by admitting that he’d had an accident. Yuck, I know. More surprising, he would outright refuse to let us clean him up, screaming and hollering about having to change his dirty clothes. His potty-training—however earnestly I tried to foster his self-esteem with loving reassurance—became a vestige of control for him. But with that control came a myriad of other emotions too varied and precarious for me to fathom, though I tried to meet them each as they appeared.

I’m now going to make a possibly contentious suggestion: Potty-training is as mysterious, timing-dependent and fraught with emotion as falling in love. I know it may be considered unseemly to draw a parallel between the beauty and fragility of love and how one handles his or her ones and twos, but the journey to undies is a delicate yet highly-charged path indeed. Let me also announce that over the last two weeks, Joseph has not only worn undies on a daily basis, but of his own accord, waved bye-bye to his nighttime pull-up and has (miraculously) kept the bed dry—not a single urinary faux pas.

How did this happen? My best intentions exhausted, at a ped appointment I moaned to our doctor about his stunted progress, and he suggested that I stop dwelling so much on the next milestone and allow Joseph to finish up being a “baby” on his own time. He’d become a “big boy” when he was good and ready. He gently questioned whether, since his baby brother had been born, we had (mostly unconsciously) shuttled him towards big-boy status for our own sanity (and convenience—honestly, two kids in diapers?!)

I took his words to heart and began a new campaign of treating him like my little baby—more rocking in my arms, more cooing in his ear, more cuddles and less coaching. He eats it up! To be frank, I enjoy it myself. Letting go has removed a great load of pressure from us both. My dashed expectations are replaced with contented acceptance. Like falling in love, the quality of a relationship has more to do with what we’re giving than what we’re getting. Most significantly, the more I treat him like my little guy, the more he wants to be my big guy. So, I guess we can deduct that his slow potty progress was my fault. Hmm.

And then, we got the newsletter from school. Nursery school graduation is at the end of June, and everyone who is three and potty-trained will graduate to preschool, get a whirlwind of wonderful new curriculum (including cooking, yoga, ceramics, drama and gardening!), play in the big-kid playground, and last but not least, it will cost us almost $300 less per month!

The newsletter came on a Friday. I struck while the iron was hot. I took a glass bowl down from the cupboard. I cut up sheets of stickers into individual pieces, I opened a package of alphabet fridge magnets, and added a small collection of plastic necklaces. When Joseph came home from school, we said, “bye-bye, diaper. Helllloooooo undies!” I showed him the potty and the glass bowl and he took it from there, no problem. I put the pull-ups out of sight, replacing them with only undies. That weekend, I had to remind him a few times to say ”bye-bye diaper,” but he got the hang of it, and we have been diaper-free from that day forward. In fact, it was less than a week into it that he chose not to have the pull-up at night.

We’re so proud of Joseph. And he’s proud of himself! Yes, we remind him to use the potty throughout the day; yes, we locate potty wherever we happen to go; and yes, he still gets a sticker or magnet each and every time, but my son is dry. My son is confident, self-assured, and dry!

Like finding love, the timing was everything. Will I go straight to the prize-bowl method with my younger son? The simple answer: possibly. He’s a different person, and I’m a different mommy now, thanks to this experience.

 

 

A Nod to Noah August 21, 2007

It’s true that Joseph is often mentioned first in my blogs–he is potty-training, he TALKS to us (after so many months of babydom, it is such a treat to hold a conversation with a person who used to require all our energy just to decipher his nonverbal cues), and he is smart, funny, active and curious. There’s always something new with him.

However, Baby Noah, my newborn, is also deserving of zillions of starring-role blog entries. You could not ask for a sweeter, more jovial and contented baby than he, and while my day is often focused on Joseph’s activities and listening to and playing with him, Noah sits quietly by just watching or sleeping or smiling. He laughs and giggles at most everything and he sleeps through the night, and chatters away when engaged. He loves his bath, he rolls over, he is already bouncing in the jumper and often tries to sit up. He grasps onto his toys and listens with bubbly enthusiasm to stories read to him. He is a joy and a treasure and so very, very easy.
And, I’ll be so bold as to come right out and say it: I think he might be a genius. Now before you begin snickering at my indulgence, I’ve been following his development in several baby manuals, so hear me out. At 4 months, he should only now be determining the difference between “ba” and “pa”, and babbling isn’t supposed to replace cooing until about 6 months. However! Noah has been able to imitate the word “hello” since he was 2 months, and he has been babbling since 3 months. He is also almost ready to sit up, although I attribute that more to his cherub-like mass than I do to his intellect. And what’s more, he is already using his ability to roll to get around to things he wants to see at closer view. I tell you, a genius!
OK, one little story about big-brother Joseph, but this one is in reference to our youngest! The other day when I went to pick up Joseph from school, when I walked in with Noah, the new teacher exclaimed, “Of course he has a little brother! Oh, Joseph is so cute!” She went on to describe how Joseph had spent the afternoon with a baby doll and a stroller, and how he cradled the baby in his arms, kissing it and cooing at it. He changed its clothes, he put it in the stroller and walked it about, then cradled it some more. I saw how deeply he loves his brother, but also how closely he has been watching my relationship with Noah. I should have known; whenever the other children gather around Noah, he always waves away chubby little fingers, admonishing, “Don’t touch the baby!” (He has decided on his own that touching Noah is his privilege and no one else’s.)
As Noah enters the beginning of the teething stage, I’ll admit that I’m in no hurry for him to reach his next babyhood milestone. Truly, there is nothing more exquisite than gathering a whole little human being into your arms and spending countless hours just staring into his gorgeous eyes as he gazes back and smiles at you. I’ll cherish every one of his baby-days.
I’m so thankful. Even the toughest day as a mother is better than anything else I could imagine doing. I’m so blessed to be able to be home with my boys.

Trips to the Loo, My Darling August 6, 2007

Could it be? Has our little son decided, all by himself, to use the potty? All signs say yes!

Earlier in the year, as we approached Joseph’s second birthday, we began interviewing several Montessori schools for the toddler program. Invariably we were told that our son would have to be potty-trained to enter the program. Just how many little boys do you know who are fully trained by their second birthday?! Enough, I guess. The classes are often waiting-list only. 

I began investigating just how the mystery of transitioning from diaper to potty unravels. Any mother will tell you, it is a tricky path, fraught with potential danger and setback. Freud wrote textbooks replete with cases of patients who “failed” somehow on the journey to this monumental milestone. I would not take things lightly. I promised myself and my son I would be patient, consistent, loving, reassuring, unrushed, intuitive, supportive and encouraging. But, perhaps, just maybe, we could pull it off before age two?

Yeah, right.

Between his nightly bedtime struggle, moving to a new house, starting a new school and the birth of his younger brother, the road to themed underpants has been uncertain to say the least. However, we cheerfully purchased a potty with requisite anatomically correct doll, miniature doll potty and respective storybook. He loved the novelty of it, and took great interest in his father’s and my bathroom habits. But still, nothing.

His diaper size crept up, as did the contents therein, ahem.

He began saying “Ew, stinky poo-poo!” at the onset of Number Two–and knowing the moment is about to arrive is half the battle!–but still, nothing happened when he sat on his potty.

During our trip to the library last week, on a whim I rented “I Can Go Potty.” Joseph studied it with intensity. He loved the song about being a “big kid,” and would softly repeat the lyrics under his breath: “a big kid eats by himself, a big kid is polite, a big kid uses a potty” as though in a trance. He watched it over and over, and then stood up, took off his clothes and sat down on his potty. Folding laundry, I smiled and thought nothing of it. Months of looking into the depths of a bone-dry potty had left me cynical and jaded. I walked out of the room to put away the clean clothes, only to hear, “Done! Doooooooooone!”

When I returned, sure enough, there it was. Number Two. Right there in the potty. To be honest, I had to steel myself against showing how, well, gross it looked. Instead, I let out a cheer, we hugged, we clapped and when I called him my “big kid” and his eyes lit up with pride. Together, we dumped his prize into the toilet and waved bye-bye. My big kid flushed the toilet, and we promptly called Daddy, then Gramma, to share the news.

Since then, he’s done it a few more times during stints running naked about the house. While he’s thrilled with his Thomas the Train underwear, they have yet to deter him from accidents when we’re out and about. Consistent success has come from waist-down nudity at home. I’m hoping that since we’ve made it this far, it can only get better. Now, what to do about night-time? Should he wear a pull-up, undies, or stay in a diaper until he’s got this toilet thing all figured out?