Motherhood, Marriage and Other Wild Rides

Health, Happiness and the Pursuit of Mommyhood

Catching up with the kidlets: Spring 2010 June 7, 2010

It’s been far too long since I’ve posted pictures for Gramma and Grampa in Canada to see. These little gems are from Spring 2010.

Just last week, my 5-year-old Joseph surprised us all by suddenly passing Level One after only FOUR swimming lessons! He has always been a big fan of his bath, and he loves to go in pools and to the beach, but he has always been very nervous to try to leave the edge and try to learn to swim. When he was a baby, I took him to parent-and-me classes at our local rec center, but it was mostly water-bonding and blowing motorboat. And fun, of course!

This summer, I made the commitment to put the boys in “real” swim lessons and signed them up to work together in semi-private lessons at Waterworks Aquatics, thanks to a referral from my friend Kristianne Koch. Waterworks is amazing, but costs a pretty penny. Kristianne’s son Merrik went there as an infant and with his parents’ help and encouragement, was boogie-boarding and beginning to surf last summer at age four… for hours!

Anyway, Joseph was very excited and curious about swim lessons–but I could tell he was nervous. His little brother Noah was beyond excited. When I put Noah in the water, I need to stay right next to him because he will simply leap forward into the deep water, fully expecting to be able to swim. He is confidence personified. In order to get the boys prepared for swimming (and to bring Joseph’s courage up to his little brother’s level) I began listing all the things they’ll be able to do once they can swim:

  • Pretend you are dolphins!
  • Pretend you are sharks!
  • Pretend you are mermaids! (hey, who isn’t curious about mermaids at some point?)
  • Have swim races for prizes!
  • Dive for treasure!

OK, for the first four items, they were cheering! With each new idea the cheers grew louder and louder until I said, “dive for treasure.” Noah’s joy came to a crashing halt. Joseph continued to bubble with enthusiasm: “I know! We can put treasure into a treasure box, and put it at the bottom of the pool, then DIVE for it!!”

All the color drained from Noah’s face.  He did not share these dreams. He did not want to go to the bottom of the pool, not for any treasure of any kind. I’d overshot the mark, and toppled the confidence meter. Now Joseph was desperate to get in the water and Noah was clinging to the edge in fear. What was I thinking?

Over the first two lessons, Joseph worked very hard, and while I could see that he has reservations, he set aside his fear and powered through. Noah cried and cried, so I’ve let him sit out until he tells me he wants to try again, and transferred our pre-paid lesson package to Joseph. If there’s one thing about Noah, he has an uncanny ability to figure things out. At age three, he is almost as good at riding his bicycle as his older brother.

I’ve never seen Joseph so focused. I sit where I can see him and give the “thumb’s up” when he looks my way, but I am otherwise removed from his lesson. From the beginning, he was equally cautious and determined. I am so pleased to see him resolve his own inner conflict of fear, choosing to try instead. His teacher is very matter-of-fact. She doesn’t overflow with positive reinforcement, but she doesn’t appear disappointed either when he doesn’t get it right the first time. She simply offers more and more chances to try, in different ways. When I saw him swim down almost four feet to get a toy, I just knew how thrilled he must have been.

I’m so proud of him–It is incredibly rewarding to watch your child decide to meet a goal, and to make his own efforts to achieve that goal. I always reward the spirit of “never giving up” because if we persevere, we can do the things we want to do. I have seen him be frustrated when building with his Legos, and the huge sense of accomplishment that arrives when he figures out to create what he sees in his mind. But learning to swim requires trusting the capabilities of your whole body, entering an unfamiliar world and letting go. When success comes, it is sweet indeed.
 

Writing and blogging can improve your health! April 22, 2010

Last night, my husband and I were discussing the future of blogging. With so many social media outlets–most of which requiring only a sentence or less, did blogging have a future?

It’s easy to jump to “yes!”, especially if you are a writer who simply must write, or if you generate an income from your blog.

However, blogging and the web’s instant gratification has killed printed publication (but saved trees) and made what the public perceives to be bonafide journalism out of, well, the often unjournalistic, the implausible and the unresearched. We’ve actually reached a place where news can arrive in less that 140 characters–and we believe it.  Where does that leave the blogpost, with its (comparatively hefty) average of 450 characters or more?

John Khoury, CEO and founder of Liquic.com, a comprehensive online health and wellness resource encourages writers, amateur and professional alike to do it for good mental health; “Jotting down your thoughts on a daily basis will not only add some ‘me’ time to your schedule, but will unfold the writer and philosopher in you. From daily diaries to travel logs, journaling/blogging can help left and right brained people organize ideas, and boost their well-being.”  

For Khoury, these are some of the most rewarding aspects of maintaining a weblog:

  • Clarify your goals.  By logging your thoughts, you can examine your feelings and objectives with a different set of eyes.  Blogging gives you the unique opportunity to provide yourself with feedback from the person you trust most.
  • Meditate through your journal.  Believe it or not, blogging can be a form of meditation. It quiets your mind, and it is as soothing as turning off all lights and sounds around you to focus on what truly matters.
  • Make some time for you.  Think of your blog as your personal time, where you remember and analyze all portions of your life.  You’ll be setting aside time to reflect on the best parts of your day and all your actions and feelings. Making you will feel valued and refreshed.
  • Make a Decision Easier.  Expressing your doubts and anxieties allows you to weigh your options.  Should you change jobs?  Should you move to a new neighborhood? Listing the pros and cons of each choice will point you to the right direction.
  • Eliminate negative thoughts.  Scripting all negativity in your life feels as liberating as lifting a weight off your shoulders. Venting to your friends is a good idea, but having them “in print” can help you identify your fears and get rid of ideas that only bring you down.
  • Track each step of your life. Scribbling your actions keeps you aware of your mistakes and accomplishments.  It will also highlight the aspects of your life that you should be paying a bit more attention to.
  • Improve your relationships.   Writing will give you the opportunity to communicate your feelings towards others–and choose your words carefully.  The experience will let you value perspectives not understood before, and will provide you with patience and reasoning to deal with conflicts. You will also appreciate your family and friends more and recognize the essential role they play in your life.
  • Do what makes you happy.  With work and responsibilities, we end up spending most of our time pleasing others and performing mandatory tasks.  After a while, you may find it difficult to distinguish what part of the day was dedicated solely to you.  Through blogging, you will discover ways to include things you enjoy into your day: like something as simple as listening to your favorite song to grabbing lunch at your favorite spot.

What are your favorite aspects of blogging? What do you think will be the future of blogging?

 

 
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